~ DEAD INSIDE~

 
      Dripping sadness a loaded gun with one bullet a Rag dall with no tears
        She wants a smoke weed to ease the broken heart 
       SAD, Blue , crying broken DEAD INSIDE....
      Zipped lips sewed up hurting like a slow death 
         Of confusion turning into muck dirt.....
        Alcohol, anorexia, drug taking pill popin junkie 
       Living in the  sad shadows... A puppet on strings 
          Wishing upon a star, looking 4 a map a way out...

      Hurting from silence after silence into the night or day of gloom
        The bitterness turns into waiting 4death...
       Coldness, emptiness, of nothingness....
          Happiness an joy turn into a ball of sadness in the dark 
        Emotions an feelings turn into a rock that's dead....
        Cold ice cubs, of steal an fire burning....

        She dies every minute slower an slower inside 
          Where  the world can't see where her heart breaks 
         And her gray soul live she dies of sadness, boredom, depression 
        As her heart turns black and cold burns an breaks 
           Like glass into sadness.... A loaded gun with one bullet 
         A cup full jack with one cold cub of ice broken inside an outside 
               Click click click click BANG!!!

- SEX GODDESS -

Beautiful, soft, gorgeousness
  Wondering, mysterious, sparkling
 Glowing, dazzling, eyes.....
 A sex goddess a perfect moving
Picasso sex, love, painting of art
Barbie thin glamorous of a doll....

A charmed life beauty an magic tangled up
Coyote ugly sexy confidence sex goddess
Mac makeup
 Dark black blue eyeshadow
The holy grail of makeup
Mermaid drop dead gorgeousness
Sweet, kind, lovable, one of a kind
Sex goddess...

Natural soft kissable, exotic, sexy lips
A Gisele, karlie, sex goddess
Dark long light black brown hair
Cute nose, dimples and face....
Sex goddess seduction of gold
Hot, sticky, wet, dripping
Liquid wetness of a whisper
Of a sex goddess talented, believable
Truthfully poetry inside out, upside down
Inside out ...sex sex sex sex goddesses
Catered by Boyz Boyz Boyz
Sex goddess

- THIRD WHEEL-

     sadness loneliness deep down inside....
          Where no one can see, in those cold ice glass tears...
      Hiding behind those lonely brown eyes 
      Haziness falling an hurting herself, on the inside
            Nothing but a perfect mess, that needs 2heal 
       Who will fix her,  find her......clean her up....
      No one will ever understand how much 
    Emptiness, hollowness, of nothing 
                       Hurts....that's left untouched 
       Like a burn, sting, cut, 2 sock in...
          A gunshot 2 the heart , soul 
        The corners of her mind....
      An empty hole that can't be filled......
   An in crowd obsession 
        fake fairy tale, love story not written yet... 

   Only a third wheel.....
     No he 2 hold hands with finger tips to touch 
    No he 2 play with hide an go seek, talk 2, dance in the rain with
   No he that will sing in the middle of he night, 4her....
     No he that will tex every sec of the day...
   No he  2 hug an kiss call her own....
     No he 2 snuggle, cuddle with stick to....
   2 wake up with in the break of dawn morning sunrise with....
No he to sock in taste, obsess over, cling on 2 ...let go 
  Get lost in those gorgeous, dazzling, sparkling, amazing puppy 
                         EyEs .....
    No he 2 fuck 4 pleasure or to fuck over.....to get tangled up in 
    To breath in live in... Get lost in like a puzzle....

       It's over rated, just a simple (Third wheel ) 
   Not a balance of the magical number 
                      TWO..... 
          

~RED BATHTUB~

   Bathtub of tears, sadness, blood....
        A paper bag over her head ...
   Cash a gun for them, to blow her brains out....
      Darkness shades closed....
           Lights out stillness of shadows.....
     In the bathtub, with a bottle and a sharp knife....
    Self mutilation, harm, doubt, anger....
        Drugs, pills and blood everywhere....
    Everything is broken with sadness
     Close friends say goodbye too....
     Call every photo together FAKE..and years too,
           not real an cold if u wish..
    But she never did, never will,
       break her heart, let the friendship die
       And keep walking and never grow up...
        See who is there in the end
 Everything will change has changed, nothing left to say....
      If she doesn't care, why should she her friend.
                                 SAD....

 Close friends say goodbye too..
     In to deep in their own little world
           Of sad love harmful,dangerous love
  But u can't save them from harm...
       If they don't want to be saved,
 A piece or her will die 2, if she dies or a piece of her dies....
 That's her bestie without her, she feels like nothing....
   Cutting her wrists 2 feel something, not sadness or brokenness...
  It makes her ill, sick, sad...that she'll do anything 4her
    But can't save her, from her own monster, self disaster...
 Doesn't want to break her heart, just see her happy....
It is what it is, little by little she'll understand that they won't come back....
  Understand there in to deep, won't come back drift away with time....

  Close friends say goodbye too....
Always tomorrow and never come around....
    As the years fly away an the days too...
Love from far away, not close....
    You are dead to her too...nothing but sadness
In a bathtub of sadness....
      It's not so hard in this day in age,
 To pic up the phone an push a button
  To say hi ! I miss u.....sad:(
  The begging has stopped from her
Gone 2 far...
      Get lost in ur own world
  But the day u come around .....
No one will be might not be home...
   Sad give her heart a break and hurt her
  Where it hurts the most.




 

       
 

~BOYZ Mind GAMES~

 The first time 

      Hurting from guys After guys till she hit a wall, 

    Expecting nothing @all only sex at first ......

       But didn't mean to fall so quick in the long run...

   She realized that wasn't the way to go...

      The silence said It all, only breaking her more,

   And her low self -esteem, sadness...

   No way out of these memories and first experiences, of fucking guys only wanting sex...

  Nothing ells, after the first one...and losing her virginity 

 When it wasn't what she thought it was.... She spiraled out of control. one guy after another 

Only to forget the first time...she got to the point were sex was no longer pleasure, 

But depressing, sad, with no spark...she just let Guys use her body, she

Wasn't there 100% trying to use sex, as a way to escape her sadness...

Her beautiful friend said heart of mine, u can share all of u and ur feeling with one guy....

The sad part was she she didn't she split, cut her virginity up, and shared it with 4 different 

Guys along w herself and feelings... Learning the hard way it's not easy becoming 

A young lady aka a woman...

But lucky (4)~ said it all 

   Don't be shy around me, open up like u do with ur girlfriends, 

   Don't compare ur self 2 her, ur nobody special at all...

   CUP CAKE - said it nobody will love u, ur and ugly , fat stupid ho, bitch 

  For caring about me, coming undone naked for me.......he said 

 Lucky 4 spoke far all 3of them that had no ward 2say, only body messages, 

That she read unclear, the wards between the lines she couldn't see or read, 

Didn't know how.... Like ur sweet, kind, smart, and pure 

 But ur not bad enough, good enough for my list sorry .......

So she slowly hit the bottle one after another after another 

For months trying to erase their names....and memories stuck in 

Her dark black, broken heart black bruised,burnt soul 

The corners of her mind and deep dreams...she hit another wall 

Rock bottom with nothing left to say....but hopefully she can find her way

 Back to the light......