~ November Without Him ~

 As the naked Trees
throw their last leaves
November without him
will never be the same
as the days get colder and shorter
the wind blows away the leaves
and the the thoughts
    of the good Times
will still stick like glue
November without him
will never be the same

I'm buggin for him
maybe I have to walk
on the wrong side of the street
be at the wrong place at the wrong Time
make random choices and maybe we'll
   Meet one day .....
and destiny will happen out of the blue
as if it was meant to be
   all along from the beginning

White horses and the Tree of life
under the earth, sun and moon
at the end of the line, earth
his eyes shine like the stars
but every time I call
he's never there .....
every time I look for him
he's gone......
only in my dreams he's there ...
the sky is gray the hours are long
missing him ...
November without him, will never be the same

It's like the rain crying
November without him
is like calling the moon
to fix my heart
it's like slowly dieing inside .........

*THE HEART*

Who the hell do they think they are
breaking my heart and soul ....?
I guess I'm the dumb ass
standing in the rain waiting to catch a cold ..
trying to save old friendships
that weren't meant to be ....
He left never came back,
no sweet kisses, no postcards, no phone calls ....
or said goodbye .....
She didn't call anymore, didn't come around anymore
she stopped calling .....
He became full of himself....
full of crock shit, trying to erase
who he really was because of our past....

Over the years new friends were made ...
but I guess I'm the dumb ass
standing in the rain,waiting to catch a cold
waiting for them to let me in the circle
In crowed
Cuz I'm not cool enough, nothing more or less
who the hell do they think they are
breaking my heart and soul
But even a blue crush
I'm the dumb ass
standing in the rain waiting to catch a cold
waiting for him to let me in
his heart, mend all his wounds
with sweet warm kisses
who the hell do they think they are
breaking my heart and soul

But theirs time to start over
from scratch
I'll never leave this place,
get out of this town
will rot inside my soul,
trying to climb out of this box
called my life
cuz I'm the dumb ass
standing in the rain, waiting for
a miracle, the world to let me in ....

~ QUIET DANCING ~

  watching me burn
  they cut me open with their eyes
  I don't give a dam
   about what they say or think .....
love is dripping
      from my heart
butterflies all over
 but who is someone like me?
when the stars are shinning bright
when dreams are taking over ...


Do I know who I am ?
when the magic in me
turns into gold like poof
while zipping a few drinks, beers
under the moon lit stars
SUMMER nights listening to
blue grass, banjo music the bluzz
that's singing my story
saying all the words that I can't
while my 5 senses come ALIVE
and doubts fade away
disco, techno, grooving on the sidewalk, 4 the night
no broken records
 and the past is put away, the demands are gone


Only my heart and soul
is on the line
 I'll never be the same again
what's the name of the club
just dance coyote ugly
letting the boyz at the bar
buy me drinks all night
cuz I have the magic in me
turning those words into gold
so they can take me home with them
Summer hasn't gotten any hotter .....

*** THE ART of LIFE ***

Her heart full of air
ready to pop like a balloon
the art of conversation
the art of a smile
under the table or covers
but always under the bed
one day she will realize
her days will be marked off
as a done list
almost like a homework assignment
that your suppose to be
paying attention too?

A moment ....
A laugh, A cry ....
A song, A book ....
beautiful dreams ....
perfect scores ....
but loneliness will catch up
so break it Down
to the life you SEE
the magic tricks for the SOUL- HEART
perfect blue ocean waves ......


But naked TREES
can sing to Her
if she listens ......
the MOON
can guide her way?
the STARS
can give her wisdom
So give her a
wise woman's ears
so she can hear the things
she's been missing
Give her a pare of EYES
so she can SEE
all the things she's been missing
Give her a HEAT and SOUL
so she can FEEL ......
A pare of shoes
to walk the path of LIFE.......

* * * THE WISDOM TREE * * *

In all the words she said
I didn't forget her
laughter and vibe
that led me on an amazing,
extraordinary, mysterious path
of Goodness that was unexplained


In all the things she taught us
I didn't forget her eyes, face
her teaching wisdom,
lessons of life
they wont go away?
 they are
still here after all these years
like a perfect melody,
playing over and over
spinning around an around
in my head
her golden words projecting
on my wall like an old movie
breaking my little heart with goodness
sadness of the good times ...

without saying a word her eyes
had a story to tell
and every story she told
had a meaning a lesson to learn
in the end but getting her to smile
laugh wasn't that hard ...


who was she?
an angel
like a mysterious willy wanka
chocolate factory teacher
an extraordinary teacher of life ...
she walked into my life
that was falling apart
for a reason that I will never know ?
or why ?
that will take a lifetime
to fig er out
I walked into that (Time Traveling) classroom
as a little girl
left that classroom
4 years later smarter, wiser,
faithful, hopeful
as a grown lady
but not yet a woman
I could never thank her enough
One of her dear students ......

* HE'S SUMMER *

The magical window is open
and another love story is told
she's all about him
he's all about her
they are all about each other
but from the corner of her eye
he something extraordinary, amazing
special
that can't be explained
in her sweet dreams he's
the one
touching her heart, soul
falling in love with her
he's like summer
so beautiful.......
like the summer clouds
blue ocean waves
like magic .......


but she only wants to
give him love pure love
destiny is playing it's part
but he's like summer
summer love up lifting
like the wind, beautiful
nature .....
like butterflies, watermelons, mango's
strawberry pies
like the crystal rainbow fishes
in the blue ocean sea ....
the wisdom TREES



The drum beat of her heart
cries like a wolf a silent tree
but pure love is what will
holds them together
through the thick and thin
nothing Else while the world
spins
but she wants to love him
like summer
cuz he's just like summer
warm and sweet
kind and loving
chocolate cookies, Carmel apples
Cotton candy, sweet popcorn
hot and everthing in between....
like the bright stars at night
the moon made of cheese

~ CANDY ~

His candy lips
are trying to find her
Cotton candy lips
His beautiful, soulful light brown
Eyes
trying to swim in hers
His honey, dark brown straight
wavy locks of hair
warm, cocky, cringle smile
vanilla chocolate SKIN
touching hers
so soft like fur, air
pressing his forehead
against hers
while trying to taste her
kisses- her perfect lips
that toxic ate him
making him want more
like a love drug .....


making love to her
making her happy
really happy
while she's trying to
catch up with his
pace, trying to make him happy
using all her 5 senses
trying to become one
with him in the moment
trying to reach the climax
where pain turns into
pleasure, magic,
flouting cartoon hearts
multiple orgasms,
that are mind blowing
love making turns into
something extraordinary
where wounds are getting
mend with sweet sweet
warm kisses from
head to toes

Dreaming

Dazing out into the window
hanging from a tree
living life day by day,line by line
drink after drink, singing away
lighting a cig ......
the world spinning
trying to be truthful
to herself
with out getting lost
in the hype of fame, metamorphose
change of life, getting old, growing up,
without losing, forgetting
who she was? who she is.....
change is good
only if you stay true to yourself ?

nothing has changed
not one bit, not an inch
only her and time the years
always living in a dream land
when will she wake up
an smell the coffee, realize that
life is, will always be ?
not perfect, what she wants it to be ......
heartbreaking, and sad
no matter how she chooses
to make her own reality
her life perfect ........
life will always be
day in an day out
no matter if she finds
Happiness, love, gold
or it's the other way around ......
life will always be, not what she
wants it to be ...

* FEAR IS CALLING *

The fear of knowing to much about life?
all the dreams you want to chase, but can't?
all the things you want to do but can't ?
scared of the world being large.....and you might get lost in it
scared of getting lost in a dream, deep thoughts
that are so laud.
scared of being loved, by someone ?
letting them touch your heart, soul
scared of loving back, giving all your soul, heart
over to someone, and trusting them with it ?
hoping they don't drop it, like a glass cookie jar
scared of being a leader, trying to do the right thing?
scared of being a hero.......
fighting back with all of the
mind, will power of knowledge and wisdom
hoping you don't CRASH?
scared of knowing about
giving, forgetting, loving, hoping, and praying ?
because they might hurt to much, about knowing?
knowing to much about, the saddest things
IN LIFE?


Scared of not knowing to much, about life ?
forgetting to breath, live life,
the world leaving you behind?
and you can't remember the good times,
you had on this journey of growing up, growing older?
scared of not being good enough, accomplishing anything
IN LIFE .......
scared of dying of boredom, joyless, depression ?
not knowing where to start and where to end ?
not knowing what life, is really about ?
not being able to SWIM the ocean Waves
see the sunrise or sunset in a day ?
along with the STARS, MOON
dying of sadness, as the leaves fall
and winter comes .....
Fear is calling scared of DEATH NO
but of LIVING LIFE
the UN LIVED, UN LOVED LIFE ..........

* 3 GAYS AND A GIRL*

They are there to tell her good things?

when she has guy trouble, they are there to say ?

"that if he's not into you 4 everything?

if he can't see how beautiful you are ?

what an amazing person, girl you are ?

then he's a worthless shit?- not 4 you Hun"....

they're more then the women, she is ....

they're more then, the man he will ever be?

they are gay.......those are

Her boo's, babe's, Love's and friends ......

cute, hot, funny, smart, amazing

with a tab bit of fashion, glam living lifestyle...

they are truly there as Friends

picking up midnight phone calls

about love, the future, the past

and anything she wishes to talk about

just listening .....to her

putting up with her nagging about life

taking her out 4 a hell of a ride, a good time?

when her world is upside down ?

wiping here tears away .......

helping her put on here make up ?

Hugging and kissing her in a gay way?

almost turned on, if they weren't GAY

the perfect guy they would be

if they were rolled into 1?

her sex curiosity, kinkiness coming out .....

turned on by gay porn a little, 2 guys f-ing

wild sex fantasies 3 gays and a girl

all night long .....

but still straight in every way

looking 4 Mr. Right ......ha

so it's 3 gays and a girl, good times

now and 4ever and always .......

they should be good friends ...

life is, and always is around them ....

they have the vibe.......that lights her

heart in the dark ....she loves them

like brothers ....

*SPLATTERED BURNING HEART*

As her bare feet, touched the ice cold kitchen tile floor?

she gets a chill remembering him?

his soft,warm brown eyes, sweet candy lips, coffee, clown

Kringle smile, warm tight hugs. the smell of his shower gel,

cologne like light ocean breeze, his poetic words?

that came like a perfect, soft melody, whisper in her ear?

goose bumps on her arms, thinking about him......

why he didn't wait 4 her? he ran away, went his own way?

never came back? gave up on her..........

Even though she was lost, at a young age,

so was he? but he loved her. He was in 4 everything?

he wanted her to be his girl?

mend all his wounds with warm soft kisses?

live in him, walk with him hand in hand ?

ware his ring?

but she said no, so soft, sweet trying not to hurt him?

that she couldn't because it was complicated ?

She needed to say, all that she needed to say ?

Do all that she needed to do?

Be all that she needed to be ?

Find a perfect side of herself ...

find herself alone, without him, on her own ?

Grow up?

But he never waited 4 her ?

finding anther girl that wasn't good 4 him ?

they grew old, and apart, losing a friendship

with the years that came?

she found herself, and was happy with it ?

becoming everything good she wanted to be ?

but he fell deeper into the ground, never grew up?

got lost some more, did drugs, joined a gang,

got in deep with the law?

he disappeared into thin air? No phone calls?

No letters, No post cards?

He never waited for her? But how could he?

when she pushed him away, when he wanted

A friendship, love, and Her?

So one day, she realized she loved him, as much as he loved her ?

a little to late.....

another sad hurtful regret, pieces of her heart?

shattered like broken glass...

all over the kitchen floor, made out of cold Ice ....?

frozen tear drops, the past

So much time has gone by, nothing can be fixed anymore?

She can only let go? and move on, with her life?