The first time
Hurting from guys After guys till she hit a wall,
Expecting nothing @all only sex at first ......
But didn't mean to fall so quick in the long run...
She realized that wasn't the way to go...
The silence said It all, only breaking her more,
And her low self -esteem, sadness...
No way out of these memories and first experiences, of fucking guys only wanting sex...
Nothing ells, after the first one...and losing her virginity
When it wasn't what she thought it was.... She spiraled out of control. one guy after another
Only to forget the first time...she got to the point were sex was no longer pleasure,
But depressing, sad, with no spark...she just let Guys use her body, she
Wasn't there 100% trying to use sex, as a way to escape her sadness...
Her beautiful friend said heart of mine, u can share all of u and ur feeling with one guy....
The sad part was she she didn't she split, cut her virginity up, and shared it with 4 different
Guys along w herself and feelings... Learning the hard way it's not easy becoming
A young lady aka a woman...
But lucky (4)~ said it all
Don't be shy around me, open up like u do with ur girlfriends,
Don't compare ur self 2 her, ur nobody special at all...
CUP CAKE - said it nobody will love u, ur and ugly , fat stupid ho, bitch
For caring about me, coming undone naked for me.......he said
Lucky 4 spoke far all 3of them that had no ward 2say, only body messages,
That she read unclear, the wards between the lines she couldn't see or read,
Didn't know how.... Like ur sweet, kind, smart, and pure
But ur not bad enough, good enough for my list sorry .......
So she slowly hit the bottle one after another after another
For months trying to erase their names....and memories stuck in
Her dark black, broken heart black bruised,burnt soul
The corners of her mind and deep dreams...she hit another wall
Rock bottom with nothing left to say....but hopefully she can find her way
Back to the light......
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