-Pyschotic Beauty Obsession-

- If she was smart, funny, out going confident, popular,
Sassy, courageous, well spoken with kindness
An lovable sweetness like her.....

Then maybe the beauty inside her
Wouldn't kill break her heart. Eat her alive with sadness
Into a million pieces, with fear, depression, anxiety
Coldness, shallowness, hollowness, emptiness of
                   Nothingness at all...
An drive her crazy, to be somebody ells that's
                   Well put together

If she was spontaneous, charming, pretty, beautiful,
Glamorous, stunning, attractive
Hot, sexy, wild, seducing like her.....

She wouldn't be a nobody, a worthless loser,
A virgin 2 lots of things, socially dysfunctional, awkward
A muse, a stupid joke, weird, strange, goofy, special
Different, a buzz kill, a nerd, geek, dork, freak
An uncool Waldo, a boring person so dead inside,
Trapped inside a glass jar looking out,
   Wishing she could break out
Into a beautiful butterfly,

If she was cool, popular, wonderful, amazing,
Perfect like her......

She wouldn't be on the outside of the circle,
Looking in wishing to be in the circle...
Different doors would open,
Different talents and skills would appear
a good luck charm she would  be
A perfect magazine image she would be
An Unbroken girl, she would be
All the things she desire to be,
An more....

If she was like her.....

Then maybe she wouldn't cut her wrist an
Wish that she was never born, think that
She was so ugly an fat, looking through her
Mind broken mirror of insecurities...
drown into a
Psychotic obsession of being her.....
Fucken perfect an skinny, an bleaching
Her beautiful skin to one fucken perfect color...
An mutilating her body in every way
That u can think of, 2be perfect....
Because 2 her being being perfect
Was not being her lovely self
 But someone els,wishing to be
Someone els an not her at all.

 (4 -L.V ):):)