* FEAR IS CALLING *

The fear of knowing to much about life?
all the dreams you want to chase, but can't?
all the things you want to do but can't ?
scared of the world being large.....and you might get lost in it
scared of getting lost in a dream, deep thoughts
that are so laud.
scared of being loved, by someone ?
letting them touch your heart, soul
scared of loving back, giving all your soul, heart
over to someone, and trusting them with it ?
hoping they don't drop it, like a glass cookie jar
scared of being a leader, trying to do the right thing?
scared of being a hero.......
fighting back with all of the
mind, will power of knowledge and wisdom
hoping you don't CRASH?
scared of knowing about
giving, forgetting, loving, hoping, and praying ?
because they might hurt to much, about knowing?
knowing to much about, the saddest things
IN LIFE?


Scared of not knowing to much, about life ?
forgetting to breath, live life,
the world leaving you behind?
and you can't remember the good times,
you had on this journey of growing up, growing older?
scared of not being good enough, accomplishing anything
IN LIFE .......
scared of dying of boredom, joyless, depression ?
not knowing where to start and where to end ?
not knowing what life, is really about ?
not being able to SWIM the ocean Waves
see the sunrise or sunset in a day ?
along with the STARS, MOON
dying of sadness, as the leaves fall
and winter comes .....
Fear is calling scared of DEATH NO
but of LIVING LIFE
the UN LIVED, UN LOVED LIFE ..........

* 3 GAYS AND A GIRL*

They are there to tell her good things?

when she has guy trouble, they are there to say ?

"that if he's not into you 4 everything?

if he can't see how beautiful you are ?

what an amazing person, girl you are ?

then he's a worthless shit?- not 4 you Hun"....

they're more then the women, she is ....

they're more then, the man he will ever be?

they are gay.......those are

Her boo's, babe's, Love's and friends ......

cute, hot, funny, smart, amazing

with a tab bit of fashion, glam living lifestyle...

they are truly there as Friends

picking up midnight phone calls

about love, the future, the past

and anything she wishes to talk about

just listening .....to her

putting up with her nagging about life

taking her out 4 a hell of a ride, a good time?

when her world is upside down ?

wiping here tears away .......

helping her put on here make up ?

Hugging and kissing her in a gay way?

almost turned on, if they weren't GAY

the perfect guy they would be

if they were rolled into 1?

her sex curiosity, kinkiness coming out .....

turned on by gay porn a little, 2 guys f-ing

wild sex fantasies 3 gays and a girl

all night long .....

but still straight in every way

looking 4 Mr. Right ......ha

so it's 3 gays and a girl, good times

now and 4ever and always .......

they should be good friends ...

life is, and always is around them ....

they have the vibe.......that lights her

heart in the dark ....she loves them

like brothers ....

*SPLATTERED BURNING HEART*

As her bare feet, touched the ice cold kitchen tile floor?

she gets a chill remembering him?

his soft,warm brown eyes, sweet candy lips, coffee, clown

Kringle smile, warm tight hugs. the smell of his shower gel,

cologne like light ocean breeze, his poetic words?

that came like a perfect, soft melody, whisper in her ear?

goose bumps on her arms, thinking about him......

why he didn't wait 4 her? he ran away, went his own way?

never came back? gave up on her..........

Even though she was lost, at a young age,

so was he? but he loved her. He was in 4 everything?

he wanted her to be his girl?

mend all his wounds with warm soft kisses?

live in him, walk with him hand in hand ?

ware his ring?

but she said no, so soft, sweet trying not to hurt him?

that she couldn't because it was complicated ?

She needed to say, all that she needed to say ?

Do all that she needed to do?

Be all that she needed to be ?

Find a perfect side of herself ...

find herself alone, without him, on her own ?

Grow up?

But he never waited 4 her ?

finding anther girl that wasn't good 4 him ?

they grew old, and apart, losing a friendship

with the years that came?

she found herself, and was happy with it ?

becoming everything good she wanted to be ?

but he fell deeper into the ground, never grew up?

got lost some more, did drugs, joined a gang,

got in deep with the law?

he disappeared into thin air? No phone calls?

No letters, No post cards?

He never waited for her? But how could he?

when she pushed him away, when he wanted

A friendship, love, and Her?

So one day, she realized she loved him, as much as he loved her ?

a little to late.....

another sad hurtful regret, pieces of her heart?

shattered like broken glass...

all over the kitchen floor, made out of cold Ice ....?

frozen tear drops, the past

So much time has gone by, nothing can be fixed anymore?

She can only let go? and move on, with her life?

NO POETRY

Holes in the cracks of her soul shoes .....

a dripping bleeding heart ? an empty cookie jar?

full of sorrow silver apples, golden chocolate?

no poetry bleeding inside, as the years fly by?

drunk, high, stoned feeling down?

her weakness is that she cares ....can't fight the tears back ?

the walls are breathing, talking ?

but she's still turning the pages, on that photo album ?

wanting to let go, but can't ....

reading the deep poetry, in her yearbooks ?

the stuff they wrote over the years....

that left marks in her soul, heart ...

the things she said and didn't say ......

the past comes back to life, on her walls ?

faces projecting images on her walls ......

in black and gray like a slide show, of the crooked, sad, good memories ......

that come to life, replaying over an over an over ?

that kill the soul, heart and never leave .....

The windows are open, zoning out, fading away with the wind....

but the stars are falling, and the sky too?

but bridges that she's burned over time ....

the years that went under them ?

like a ray of light, time standing still ?

not running away, but doesn't want to know ?

about sad poetry .......

the sadness dripping from her heart and soul ....

on her own NOW, wishing she can ride a horse

to the valley of the moon? where the good life starts?

but can she survive ......

the sad poetry - NO poetry at all.....

socking in love that has no poetry ?

where she came from, is not where she's going....

so what are sweet dreams made of ?

is everybody looking for something ?

is there logic out there, that makes sense ?

laughing more often back then, missing the good times,

but no one will ever know her.....

nd thatdoesn't want to remember ?

but wants to rewrite the story

with a perfect ending ...........

burning up the past,

she doesn't need it? to tell her who she is ?

it will always come back ?

moving on, being on her way ?

without being scared ?

of perfect, real poetry